Change:  a Dream, a Demon, and a Delicacy
by rgfanfreak
Summary: Another classic tale of Lily and James..7th year at Hogwarts, the war against Voldemort is getting serious, Lily's got a lot on her mind, and James still won't give up. bad at summaries, rr, DH spoilers


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or Harry Potter, blha blah blah.

Lily smiled as she placed her shiny new Head Girl badge on top of her neatly folded school robes. She stood back to admire the effect, then began to reminiscently glance around her room.

Tomorrow morning, she would be boarding the Hogwarts Express for her last time, heading off into her final year of school. This was more than likely the last night she would spend in this room, the room she had grown up in.

Just then, there was a knock on her door.

"Lils, you have a visitor." she heard her mother's voice call through the door.

"Alright, I'll be down in a second." she called back.

She walked over to her closet and opened it.

Here hung all her old school robe's from over the years.

Lily felt her lips curve into a small smile. It seemed incredible that she had once been that tiny.

Just as she made to turn around and head downstairs, a small object caught her eye, crumpled up in the corner of her closet.

She bent down to pick it up and slowly unfolded it.

She let out a soft gasp of surprise as the picture was revealed.

It had been taken in Lily's backyard, and was of her and Snape holding hands in midair as they jumped into her pool. They both had gleeful smiles on their faces, as if they'd been laughing. That was the summer between her second and third year, she vaguely remembered.

A small, humorless laugh escaped from her lips as she set the picture down on her dresser. It seemed even more incredible that she had been once been friends with such a slime ball.

She exited her room, and slowly made her way down the stairs. That picture had rather disturbed her, and her mind was now being flooded with flashbacks from her childhood, and all her years at Hogwarts.

She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw the so called "visitor". He was sitting on her couch, looking uneasy.

"Lils." he said, smiling nervously up at her.

"That's Evans, to you, Snape. Who let you in?" Lily said icily.

"Your mother. She seemed rather happy to see me..you don't mind, do you?" He asked the floor.

"Oh, of course she's happy to see you, she always did have a soft spot for you, the oor, abused, scrawny boy who lived down the street. She has no idea what you've become, or how much you've changed. And yes, as a matter of fact, I do mind. Please leave, now, if you know what's good for you." she said, her eyes gleaming with anger.

"Well, take a walk with me, at least? I wanted to talk to you Lil-Evans." Snape said desperately, finally meeting her eyes.

"Fine. I'll give you a half an hour of my time, but that's it. Even that's pushing it." Lily said, ushering him out the door.

The first few moments were spent in silence, as they walked down Lily's familiar street. It was suddenly broken by-

"What happened to us, Li-. We used to be such good friends." Snape asked as they made their way up the street.

Lily just let out another humorless laugh. "Are you seriously asking _me_ that question? If I recall, it was _you_ who started avoiding me, than began taunting me, calling me Mudblood every chance you got.." Lily said angrily, piercing her eyes at him.

He looke determinedly straight ahead. "But I tried to talk to you in private, I met up with you all those times-" he started defensively.

"In private! In private! Do you hear yourself, Snape?" Lily cried exasperatedly, "Of course, you could talk to me all you wanted_ in private_, we could be the best of friends _in private_. But the second we were around your little friends, I was no longer a friend, hardly even a person. I was just 'Hey Mudblood this' and 'hey Mudblood that'. I can't even believe you have the nerve to bring that up!"

Snape didn't say anything. He just stared on ahead, an unreadable expression on his face.

"See! You won't even give me the respect of trying to explain yourself." Lily said angrily.

"You're right though, Lils."

"Evans." she corrected through gritted teeth.

He winced at this. "Right. There's nothing I can say, or do, to take back what I've done." Snape said sadly, looking down at his shoes.

"So why, might I ask, did you decide to come down and disturb me, just a day before term starts, after being a complete stranger all summer? You've just admitted yourself, there's nothing you can say to me." Lily demanded.

"Well, I've been kind of busy all summer…haven't been home much.." Snape said, barely audible.

"I wanted to show you something, actually."

Lily's heart sank. Surely, Dumbledore hadn't made this scum her Head Boy?

Of course, she'd known it was a possibility, Snape was, as much as she hated to admit it, very skilled and one of the top students in their year. She'd just liked to pretend Dumbledore would maybe see through him.

To her surprise, and relief, he didn't reach down to his pockets to pull out a badge, but instead lifted up the sleeve of his left forearm.

Lily's eyes widened with a mixture of shock and fear as her eyes fell upon the sinister looking snake erupting from the mouth of a skull.

"Why are you showing me this?" Lily asked quietly, her voice quivering in fear.

"I'm in the big leagues, now." Snape said, looking hopefully down at Lily.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, as Lily had stopped dead in her tracks, and was staring at him with a mixture of shock, fear, and disgust.

This was definitely not the reaction he'd been hoping for, though deep down, he knew he'd been a fool to expect anything less.

"Told you I'd been busy over the summer. Look, I know you don't approve of my friends, and him, but you should hear the things he's promised me! They're like a second family to me. For once, I feel like I belong somewhere…Plus, get this, he promised-" Snape hastily tried to explain, but Lily finally managed to gain her voice back.

"I'm going to give you ten seconds to get the hell out of my site." she said slowly, but fiercely. She paused and took a deep breath, than continued. "Don't talk to me, don't write me, don't come within ten feet of me, you understand that?" Snape cringed as he saw the tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

"You stay as far away from me, and my family, and all of my friends, as you possibly can. Hear me?" Lily said, struggling to keep her voice strong.

Snape looked stunned. "But Lils-" he started.

"It's Evans for the last time! Now please, leave! Don't ever-" she shrieked.

"Fine, as you wish." he interrupted, sadly. "But do me a favor, and don't mention what I've shown you to anyone?" he said anxiously, looking down at her with a hint of fear.

"Oh, your secret's safe with me. Telling people would mean admitting that I've associated with scum like you!" Lily said, looking at him with an expression of the deepest disgust and rage.

She turned on her heel and stalked off back to her house.

Snape merely stood there, staring after her. He watched her till she was out of site, his heart dropping into the deepest pits of his stomach. Even when he'd lost site of her, he found himself unable to move. Finally, after several moments, he turned and disappeared on the spot, his head hung low.

When Lily reached her house, she burst through the door and slammed it behind her.

"Lily, darling? Is that you?" she heard her mother's voice call from the kitchen.

A moment later, she appeared in the doorway, a worried expression painted across her face.

"What's the matter!" she exclaimed, rushing over to her daughter when she saw the tears flowing softly down her face.

"It's nothing." Lily muttered, turning her head to try to hide her face from view.

"Did you and Severus have a row? You can talk to me about it, you know." her mother asked gently.

Lily looked at her mother. "Severus." she repeated vaguely.

The name sounded strange, coming from her mother's lips. She hadn't used it herself in almost two years.

After a few moments of silence, her mother waiting patiently, she continued.

"It's funny, what time does to kids. How they change as they grow up…" her voice not losing it's vague tone.

"What do you mean? You two were like peas in a pod! Not to mention, the boy is hopelessly in love with you. I've seen the way he looks at you..we've all seen it.." her mother replied surely.

At these words, Lily lost control. She let out a great sob and shook her head, in spite of herself. Her mother immediately wrapped her arms around her daughter, and allowed her to cry into her shoulder. Lily could feel the tears flooding from her eyes, and every muscle in her body was shaking.

"He never loved me. He never cared." she finally cried, her voice muffled.

"Oh, Lily, of course he cared! You two were the best of friends! You don't know men like I do, he-" her mother reassured her but Lily interrupted her.

"Stop!" Lily shrieked. "Just stop, okay?" she repeated, struggling to keep her voice calm. "You may know men better than I do, but there are certain things you could never begin to grasp, and one thing I am certain of is that I was never anything more than a pretty face and a girl with powerful magic, as far as Severus Snape was concerned. He's gone, he always was gone, it's just taken me a while to realize it. And I don't want to talk about it anymore, so can you please just let me go back up to my room?" she said firmly.

Her mother looked shocked and wide-eyed, but reluctantly obliged to Lily's wishes and released her.

"Thanks." Lily muttered. "Look, I'm sorry for lashing out on you, and I really wish you could understand..truly, I do. But I'm dealing with things right now that I hardly even understand myself. It's best this way, trust me." she said regretfully, looking sadly into her mother's eyes.

Janet Evans merely stood there, looking at her daughter with eyes full of such a deep sadness, it made Lily want to shrink down into nothingness on the spot.

"You used to tell me everything." her mother said, in a voice that sounded distant and hollow. "Why are you doing this to me?" she whispered, her eyes glazing over with tears.

Lily could no longer keep eye contact with her mother. She felt ashamed, horrible, and cruel, doing this to her. Her mother had given her the world, had been there for her, had sacrificed so much for her, and now all she could do was shut her out completely. She forced herself to turn slowly, and began to make her way up the stairs.

"It's for the best." she uttered faintly, and a light sob from behind her assured her that she'd been heard.

A/N: so that's my first chapter, I decided to write this story because I've always wanted to write a Lily/James fic, and I'm having extreme writer's block with my Harry/Ginny story, so I hope you enjoy this! Please read and review, let me know what you think!


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